But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
