he puts the penis in happiness.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i think i have herpe
just one?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
