one might say we're banned from that church
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
