Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
