her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
