it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize