Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
