I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
