giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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