Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
