I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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