big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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