no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she looked like the before picture.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
