That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
