he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We left an ass print on the piano.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
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How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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