he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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