Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
that's an acceptable place to lick
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Life is so much better after having sex.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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