Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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