Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
