We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Randomize
