it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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