I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
