sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize