I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
