Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
