yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
