I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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