Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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