He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
