he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
