bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
