She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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