At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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