It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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