the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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