I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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