I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
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