I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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