somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize