I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
