i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
