Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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