is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
