i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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