I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
