Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
