Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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