so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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