quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
