lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
