Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
