an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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