So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
