Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize