I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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