A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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