Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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