oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
