this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
