So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
