so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize